Who’s To Judge? When Good Intentions End Up Bringing Pain
I’m not Jesus and she certainly isn’t some Samaritan, whose shame leads her to go draw her water from the well when no one else is around, but with the way the Evangelical Church is acting today you’d really never no the difference.
“We’re a gay couple,” she said. I could hear the baggage. I could envision what it might have been like as a young girl to feel different, to feel like something is wrong when she was amidst other girls. I could imagine the response of family and friends, doctors and neighbors. Perhaps there was a line that was drawn somewhere in her young life and she had to step outside of it, if she was going to be even moderately true to her heart.
Jesus was crucified for “healing” a cripple man on the Sabbath, because it broke the law; how is the Evangelical body of Christ treating this woman? Are we meeting her with love, at the well, even though it’s against God’s law, or are we rejecting the example Jesus set for us and adding insult to a lifetime of injury by rejecting her? How is it that this woman receives more judgment and rejection from those who follow Jesus, than she would ever receive anywhere else?
Who are we to interpret the Bible for anyone else? God did it for us; will He not do the same for all? He modeled love and yet we follow the Pharisees, the people who put Him to death, because His love for others came before the rules. Divorce, homosexuality, sexual sin, drunkenness, gossip, murder we all know what the Bible says about it, but for us most of us our focus has gone as far as the Pharisaical laws. Have we traded the root of or faith for the keeping of the law? Do we not get hung up on the splinter in the eye of others, while the log in our own eye blinds us to the opportunities to love?
We cherish what Christ has done for us personally, He saved us from our sin. As a result we love Him radically and want to obey Him. Somewhere in that mix, many of us lost sight of the gratitude we have for the forgiveness of our own wretchedness, and we start focusing on others. “Hey come on, we aren’t supposed to do that,” may be how we feel, but too often it comes off like, “Ewe, there’s no way you can love God and live that way, you sinner, get away from me!”
God, not man, revealed our sin to us, and He immediately revealed His forgiveness. He, not man, quickened and equipped us to change. Before Christ came into our hearts, not one of us would have changed our lifestyle because someone came and showed us what the Bible said about it. We only reject our sin by of the power of the Holy Spirit. It’s not that same power, it’s our sinful flesh that causes us to judge and reject others. If we listened to the Holy Spirit we’d see another’s heart, not her lifestyle!
I found out this week that an extremely close friend, from my youth, has kept a bit of a distance from me because when she was going through a divorce I wrote her a letter and pointed out scripture. No doubt, my intention was to love and encourage, but I must have gone about it legalistically instead of in love. It’s been many years but the pain I inflicted on her, in her hour of need, because of my conviction in the Word of God, must have rubbed salt so deeply into her fresh wound, the scar still exists today. She needed love and support, as she walked the darkest days of her life, but sadly I, in the name of Jesus, came to point out God’s will in her life, as the Bible states. I am so truly sorry to her and to each and every person I have offended along my journey.
I am not the only Christian who loves God and His word so passionately that we mistakenly assume everyone needs to be living the way we strive to live (or else)! If you have been wounded by anyone in the church because of something unbiblical that you have embraced, please consider forgiving us. It’s hard to imagine the way we treated you was because we want what we believe is best for you, believe it or not, our desires for your good, sadly led us to sin. Looking at we think your sin is, actually led us to a greater degree of sin. God gave us a chance to love you, but we focused on something you do which is against the Word of God, and whether you embrace that thing or fight it, it is NONE OF OUR BUSINESS, it is God’s!
This sin of judgment is not restricted to lifestyle choices; it exists in the church and among religious practices. So when I tell you that God is calling me to the Catholic Church, I can imagine what is crossing the minds of many Evangelicals. “First she’s befriending a gay couple and now she’s praying to Mary, what in the world?” (Let’s not omit the fact that I do yoga, mantras and all.)
As I’ve been going back to the religious lifestyle that exists in the Catholic Church I have found something I never found in the Evangelical community, it is love without boundaries. I always thought there was mutual judgment back and forth, but I am beginning to see differently; it’s one-sided from the Evangelical community. The Catholics don’t really care what you do, they just care about you yet most Evangelicals over look the presence of God in the life of the Catholics and focus on things that divide our experience like Mary, Statues and Rosaries. I hope that God’s calling me to Catholicism does not set up any lines and boundaries in the Evangelical church, especially since I have no intentions of leaving my Evangelical life. What God is adding to my walk through daily Mass and other aspects of Catholicism has brought so much healing into my life, at a time when I need it the most. It is opening more doors for God to reach deeper into my heart and soul and heal my sin.
I followed Jesus to the well recently and made a new friend, will you join me?
12 responses to “Who’s To Judge? When Good Intentions End Up Bringing Pain”
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I love you, Charlotte! That’s all I got!
Dear Sweet Sister in Christ,
Always praying God will bless you second by second with His Tender Mercies.
I agree with your post.
I have been wounded in my bone marrow by Christian legalism. I have prayed for Got to heal those wounds and NEVER allow my heart to be so cold as to believe anyone needs to hear my judgement. I laugh and say, “I don’t know the verse that says, ‘Go out and judge everyone.’” But I believe it is true.
I have many gay friends. Their pain and wounds are significant.
I do not know the answer, but I do know that it is never wrong to show Jesus-inspired love. After all, He said, “And this is the greatest commandment I give you, ‘Love one another.’”
I know I fail in my intent not to judge, but I pray God will reign in my natural tendency to judge and criticize and replace it with love.
Thank you for your BOLD post.
Selah,
Belinda
Charlotte, I have long said that the Christian community is doing a huge dis-service to the gay community. Thank you for sharing this! I’m sad that God hasn’t called you back to another church in your area (for purely selfish reasons, of course!), but I pray that you are able to deepen your walk with Christ even more on this new leg of your journey. Love to you, friend!
What an amazing revelation that you have had a GOD’s well,
Bless You for sharing it with us
Dear Charlotte, I am so happy your body is healing and if you feel led to find complete healing in another place of worship I believe that is definitely between you and God and your family! Blessings to you as you remain in Him! However, I was a little confused in what else you were saying…..Maybe I misunderstood you, but here goes……We are called to love as Christ loved no matter what denomination we belong to. Shame on any person or group who throws stones. Jesus did not throw stones. He loved with compassion. But not with tolerance. I hate this new buzz word. I see no place in scripture where the Lord was tolerant….He is slow to anger, patient, forgiving and merciful, but not tolerant. He confronted people in love with their sin. The same way He does me. And you and all His children. He loves us too much to say….”to each his own”. He loves us too much to wink at what He teaches us is contrary to His perfect righteousness. Yet, we are all sinners and have gone astray. And that is where grace and mercy are such AWESOME gifts. Jesus loves the sinner, but hates the sin…..We have to accept and acknowledge there is a right and wrong. A good and bad. Or else we all will fall into the trap of, “if it’s right for me”…..May I share a quick personal story….My brother is gay. And not a christian. Yet, I love him with all of my heart. He knows I accept him totally. I do not see a gay man. I see my brother. Yet, he knows Christ is my King and what I believe about homosexuality—- based not just on a scripture that could be easily taken out of context, but on God’s entire word. He knows I believe homosexuality grieves the Lord and is contrary to His perfect will. Yet, I do not speak to my brother about this because preaching will do no good. However, if he ever asks me directly I will in God’s strength speak the truth. I do not accept his sin, but I accept him. Just as I hope he accepts me. And I pray like crazy he will be freed in Christ just as I have been freed to follow and walk with the Lord and seek His righteousness. The church is called to reach out to all people, yet to speak the truth according to God’s word in love. Perhaps this is exactly what you were saying also and I just said iit in another way……Blessings to you, Cate
I believe there are spirit filled believers in every denomination. I also believe Jesus taught unity amongst all believers in Christ. I don’t think the end times church should be made up of denominations, as they separate believers, and we are called to unite together as one big body in Christ. I think it grieves the Holy Spirit when we condemn or criticize certain Christian denominations, as they are all called by God to minister. The Lord has many ministers in many different “sheepfolds” (churches) and praise God we can find our own sheepfold out there.
I completely agree with Cate about speaking the truth in love. We cannot judge someone’s heart, as that is up to the Lord, but we can certainly judge behavior and speech, as they are the fruits Jesus spoke about, and we as Christians do need to speak the truth in love to these people that are in sin, whether it be adultery, homosexuality, lying, drunkeness, or other sins.
Praying for revelation knowledge, spiritual discernment and spiritual understanding and of course wisdom from the Lord for all of us!
Love,
Juliann
Charlotte, that was so beautifully written that I want to use it with my bible study group on Wed. evening. It shows how the power of love trumps everything else….the kind of love Christ showed us! God has given you a beautiful and you use it so well. Glad to hear you are doing so well. Love you, Betty
Charlotte:
I highly recommend you watch The Bible Tells Me So. It’s one of the most powerful documentaries I’ve every seen. I cry when I recommend it to friends. You can rent it from net flicks.
I love you.
Dad
Thank you for that heart felt post Charlotte. Jesus commands us to the Golden Rule, and the New Testament clearly says no one is without sin, and all sins are the same. How is it there are “special sins” like homosexuality that everyone else feels free to assume a morally superior stance about? We are all sinners according to Biblical teaching, no one superior to the other in that regard. Yet people feel compelled to “speak the truth” to gay people . “My sin is better, more moral than your sin (of homosexuality) ” … Sorry that is not what Jesus said. period. So much harm and pain is done to gay people under this religious rationale for intolerance and judgement. May I “speak the truth” to these people about every aspect of their life? Because I guarantee there is sin there too, sin equal with my supposed sin of being Gay
I have many Christian friends in many churches who show 100% acceptance to the gay community, genuine, unreserved and complete acceptance with no differentiation between gay and straight. These Christians and their churches feel that they too are following the word of God, but according to some they must all be wrong. ??
I must also say very clearly that I do not believe that being Gay is wrong or sinful.
Thank you again Charlotte for your lovely post, the compassion, decency and love comes though so clearly! You are a wonderful Christian example of loving kindness, and I am very glad to have finally gotten to know you!
Lawrie
Dear Charlotte,
How wonderful it is to see you writing again and addressing issues that should receive more of our support .
Welcome back, I ahve always enjoyed your thoughts on our current day lives. You are a true inspiration.
This is one of the best blogs I have read in a long time. Thank you, Charlotte. Love you and all you do for us.
How awesome that you have energy/bandwidth again to reflect and write on these things.
There is so much to receive from the Catholic Church. (Personally I am a spiritual mutt — part Catholic, part Reformed, part Pentecostal, etc.) The church, the Body of Christ — why not embrace it all?
Including gay Christians (and gay non-Christians). Thank you for sharing your views on a sensitive subject.
There are many sins and I would never confront anyone about their sin unless they were a close friend or family member, and only then in the context of my love and concern for them. “Speak the truth in love.” God’s best is, I think, heterosexual marriage or celibacy. But for someone to come to know what is God’s best for them, they need to know Jesus, and that may be through me (or you). All we need to do is love them and let the Holy Spirit lead them and us.
I know a woman who was a lesbian. She came to Christ. A very close friend told her, “Your lifestyle isn’t consistent with following Jesus.” She resisted it, then was convicted and repented. Through lots of prayer and counseling, her lesbian inclinations left and she is attracted to men now. She now has a ministry to gay people and has helped many follow her in following Jesus. It is not an easy road and I respect her very much.