April 27, 2013
Like an airplane slamming into a building, the phone call altered the life I had known just a moment before.
December 1, 2012
Eric left home when he was 14; he could not take the tension of his parents constantly trying to control his life, anymore. They hated everything he liked and they didn’t understand anything about him. He couldn’t stand school and saw no purpose in studying algebra, how was that going to ever help him out in life? The tension just kept getting worse and there were no signs of reprieve; all his parents cared about was stupid school. He was plenty able to make decisions but nobody ever gave him any freedom to do so. His friends were ‘bad influences’, his music was ‘offensive’ and neither his mom nor dad had any concept of how awesome the X Box was. They kept calling him addicted to electronics. He really liked his girlfriend, his family seemed to be against that too. He couldn’t take being controlled anymore, he had to take off.
November 28, 2012
I have decided to need to continue blogging while I work on my novel. I thought my energy would be best spent on my novel but I have decided to diversify my time and continue to meet you here once a week. One thing I am just now coming to terms with is the emotional effect the cancer has had on my family and me. I never had a chance to think about how my boys felt when their mom was diagnosed cancer; all my energy was focused on staying alive. Now I can see what happened to a household of boys while mom was in bed for a year and it has proven to be, in many ways, an unexpected disillusionment.
September 10, 2012
By the 4th pregnancy I was knee deep into alternative health. When our third baby had suffered severe asthma, we overhauled our lifestyle. After a doctor told me Blake would need to be on long-term steroids (in order to breath) and they would stunt his growth, I decided to take a different approach. Our new lifestyle brought about all kinds of changes. Among the eating, sleeping and exercise changes, I developed more natural ideas about what I'd like the birth of the fourth baby to be like. I was envisioning a doula, a bathtub or anything natural. In my search to find what I wanted, I visited various birthing centers and doctors. I was amazed that what I thought I wanted, did not provide the peace that I needed to know I was in the will of God. Despite my own strong will, my understanding of being in the will of the Lord prevailed. I was not going to go where I did not feel His leading.
January 31, 2012
Am I loved? Like an anchor holding a boat through all kinds of weather, our attachment to our children is steady and strong. Some days are peaceful but occasionally there is trouble. Rivalry sparks carless wounds; somehow we just keep caring for and believing in them. We may discipline them, but in our hearts we have grace for the bumps in their road, because we are their parent. That is just a glimpse of how God feels about us. Our kids didn’t earn our love, and yet the first time we lay eyes on them we were overcome with powerful adoration. Can you imagine how God felt when He designed you, when He knit you together in your mother’s womb? Omniscient God was aware of all of our imperfections from the very beginning of time, but He wasn’t making perfect, He was making people with unique traits and gifts, that set us apart from any other person, and He knew we’d blow it.
December 19, 2011
It’s hard not to start a 2011 letter with the cancer diagnosis, but there was life before July 1, 2011: It started off as an excellent year; I was convinced it would be one of the best years in recent history. In February I set off for my annual breakaway to Denver, where I attend the Christian Writers Guild’s, Writing for the Soul conference and where I heard clear direction from the Lord about my writing. Ever since He revealed my gift, and called me to this ministry, I have been trying to beat the system, jump into the big league without paying my dues. That is a huge leap for a girl who coasted through school on her personality and neglected some pretty rudimentary education as a result of serious, undiagnosed ADD. However, the Lord’s message was sharp for me, it was time for a change, personality alone was not what He what He had in mind, He called me out of my comfort zone. I was to go back to the basics wit h my writing and start from square one, with the promise that