My Blog
January 31, 2012
He Loves me…he loves me not…
Am I loved? Like an anchor holding a boat through all kinds of weather, our attachment to our children is steady and strong. Some days are peaceful but occasionally there is trouble. Rivalry sparks carless wounds; somehow we just keep caring for and believing in them. We may discipline them, but in our hearts we have grace for the bumps in their road, because we are their parent. That is just a glimpse of how God feels about us. Our kids didn’t earn our love, and yet the first time we lay eyes on them we were overcome with powerful adoration. Can you imagine how God felt when He designed you, when He knit you together in your mother’s womb? Omniscient God was aware of all of our imperfections from the very beginning of time, but He wasn’t making perfect, He was making people with unique traits and gifts, that set us apart from any other person, and He knew we’d blow it.
December 19, 2011
2011: A Year In Review
It’s hard not to start a 2011 letter with the cancer diagnosis, but there was life before July 1, 2011: It started off as an excellent year; I was convinced it would be one of the best years in recent history. In February I set off for my annual breakaway to Denver, where I attend the Christian Writers Guild’s, Writing for the Soul conference and where I heard clear direction from the Lord about my writing. Ever since He revealed my gift, and called me to this ministry, I have been trying to beat the system, jump into the big league without paying my dues. That is a huge leap for a girl who coasted through school on her personality and neglected some pretty rudimentary education as a result of serious, undiagnosed ADD. However, the Lord’s message was sharp for me, it was time for a change, personality alone was not what He what He had in mind, He called me out of my comfort zone. I was to go back to the basics wit h my writing and start from square one, with the promise that
October 4, 2011
Reasons to Smile
I feel a bit guilty for not writing more regularly, as so many of you have gotten in the habit of visiting Charlotte’s Heart. The good news is I have been doing other things like walking (about a mile), paying bills, caring (in minor ways) for my family and today I had the best time yet. Tom snuck out and took me to Safeway and Petsmart. Lucky guy when that has turned into the be-all-end-all date. He loved it too; we haven’t had a chance to do anything together in a very long time. I told him how much fun I had and he said, “I know, I haven’t had anyone to do anything with in a long time either.” Praise God for the blessing He’s given our family.
October 2, 2011
Here We Go!
It's Sunday Morning and I had such high hopes of being in church this morning but once I showered I found myself back in bed, maybe next week. However, I do want to share that I am doing much better. I am trying to strike a balance between rest and activity and I believe I am doing a fairly good job. I am ready to plan a trip for the spring when my chemo is over, I am ready to embrace life.
September 30, 2011
Uncontrolled Gratitude
For a few months now I have been physically here, but in many ways, mentally I have been in a bit of another world. Perhaps I have been fleeing pain or contemplating what cancer could possibly bring my way but as I slowly begin to come back to the world, the bounty of recent blessings is overwhelming. From meals, flowers, cards, texts, calls, gifts, rides, time, money, tears, hugs and of greatest personal value prayers, it is beginning to sink in that I have truly been bunkered down in a massive barricade of boon for the past few months. What I am beginning to realize is almost inconceivable.
September 28, 2011
Reflections From a Great Day!
It’s five am and I’m perched on my couch, with my Macbook on my lap, a sleeping black lab by my side, and I’m smiling. This is a true sign that the tide is turning; I haven’t been here in a very long time! It’s a big day; my mom goes back to Texas today. Although her departure hurts, it’s similar pain to sending your baby to kindergarten; it’s a necessary growing pain. While this step is emotional and scary I’m, and it feels satisfying to have achieved this type of independence. (I never dreamed I’d feel independent being away from my mother at 42!) I know that if I need her she will show up for me, just as she did with a brand new pair of shoelaces, when I was off to kindergarten and mine broke on the playground.
