Marriage
April 20, 2012
Family by Any Definition
For way too long I camped on the fact that my parents divorced when I was five. Truly it was a horrifying, and the fallout certainly contributed to many paths that I desperately needed redemption for, however those same paths made me the woman I am today and that divorce set the stage for a display of forgiveness and acceptance that I would never have known without that break in my family. Now I’m a grown woman with a family of my own and when I go home to Texas to visit my parents, my boys and I have a huge blessing waiting for us. Instead of dividing up times to go between my mom’s and my dad’s homes, what we experience is this: One night my stepmother and my dad host dinner welcoming my mom and her husband, my step mother’s ex-husband and wife (as he is the father of her children), my step-siblings, including my stepbrother’s ex wife and her boyfriend (as she is the mother of their granddaughter), and anyone else who holds an intimate part in the hearts of our family
February 14, 2012
Getting to Know You
Nearly nineteen years ago I was on my honeymoon in paradise; as a young bride I was starry-eyed, full of hopes and dreams that no man could put asunder. Nearly five years ago my husband and I sat in the office of our pastor, where we shared that we could no longer take the pain and we would be ending our marriage.
January 31, 2012
He Loves me…he loves me not…
Am I loved? Like an anchor holding a boat through all kinds of weather, our attachment to our children is steady and strong. Some days are peaceful but occasionally there is trouble. Rivalry sparks carless wounds; somehow we just keep caring for and believing in them. We may discipline them, but in our hearts we have grace for the bumps in their road, because we are their parent. That is just a glimpse of how God feels about us. Our kids didn’t earn our love, and yet the first time we lay eyes on them we were overcome with powerful adoration. Can you imagine how God felt when He designed you, when He knit you together in your mother’s womb? Omniscient God was aware of all of our imperfections from the very beginning of time, but He wasn’t making perfect, He was making people with unique traits and gifts, that set us apart from any other person, and He knew we’d blow it.
August 6, 2011
Surrender
I could hear the gentle whisper, but I was scared to listen. “Lay your marriage on the altar, as Abraham laid Isaac down,” God penetrated the fortress I had established around my beaten down heart. Abraham had waited a lifetime for Isaac and yet he was willing to obey God when put to the ultimate test. I had longed for an “intact” family since my own was ripped apart at the seams, early in my childhood. Was I willing to lay my dreams down in obedience also? I knew what divorce looked like; I knew the shame, judgment and limitations in leadership that possibly lie ahead of me, if I were to walk that road. God was not telling me to divorce my husband, He was asking me to release my clutch on the visions and desires that occupied my heart, in exchange for His perfect provision, whatever that be.
August 1, 2011
Strength
In the three weeks since I’ve learned that I have cancer, my husband has been like the hair on my head; a critical part of who I am, something I treasure and wear for the world to see. He is familiar, an integral part of me, a protector, something that makes me feel like myself, something that (when done right) can make me feel beautiful and feminine. His presence and his strength have been like a second skin, sheltering me from the fear I’d feel without him. He’s been to every appointment, on every call. He has been a steady rudder, a mainstay through my waves of emotions. His faith and knowledge of the Word of God have grounded me, and his humor has colored my darkest days. I am more keenly aware of his kindness than I have ever been. There are subtle exchanges that exist in a relationship that is as seasoned as ours; they are like hidden treasure, which you only find after years of togetherness.
February 5, 2011
Valentines Ideas for HER
The most romantic thing ever was receiving a handwritten invitation in the mail, inviting me to be ready at a certain time, on a certain date, in formal attire. It was clear my kids were taken care of and I could just get dolled up and go.
