July 28, 2012
We don’t cast golden calves anymore but we sure put things before God, don’t we This is how I started my quiet time today …“I love You more than anything in this world, more than my life, my husband, my children, anything I have, my com…f…ort; I idolize my comfort don’t I, God?” I sort of figured it out with all the physical pain I experienced throughout my cancer treatment, but today as I sat alone in a room with God telling Him how He’s all that, and more to me, I got tripped up on my comfort! In other words, as long as I can get a decent night sleep, in a comfy bed, have a hot shower/cup of coffee, 70 degree temperature, peaceful relationships, “normal” bowel movements, good food, fun things to do, interesting things to read (including Facebook) I will praise You.
July 6, 2012
It was the eve before we were to leave the beach and I wanted to join my youngest son and husband for one last swim, when I saw something that sent my emotions reeling. Last summer I wouldn’t have known what it was, but there on the shoreline was some poor soul’s ostomy bag. Thank God it’s not me! Oh bless that person’s heart, they lost their bag; what a nightmare. The sensation of my last swim fizzled as I sat face to face with the reality of what I have been through this past year. Here I was, still recovering from the surgery to have my ostomy reversed; it hadn’t been three weeks since the same type of bag was adhered to my stomach. Agony began to leak through my spirit, replacing the joy that was there just moments before. For the next several hours I felt deflated, steadily filling with anxiety.