December 31, 2011
If you are close to me, you are all too familiar with the sight and sounds of my tears this week. I hate chemo! I am literally horrified that I have seven more treatments to go. I cried my way to the hospital Tuesday and have sustained the waterworks every day since. What a contrast from Monday, I was whizzing down a zip line, screaming at the top of my lungs as the thrill of the ride sent me worlds away from everything else I know. There I was flying through the Pennsylvania sky, high above the beauty of the earth, securely cradled in a harness, I couldn’t have asked for more. However, it was like slamming into a brick wall the next morning when we returned from our mini vacation and I was expected at Johns Hopkins for my biweekly dose of poison.
December 19, 2011
It’s hard not to start a 2011 letter with the cancer diagnosis, but there was life before July 1, 2011: It started off as an excellent year; I was convinced it would be one of the best years in recent history. In February I set off for my annual breakaway to Denver, where I attend the Christian Writers Guild’s, Writing for the Soul conference and where I heard clear direction from the Lord about my writing. Ever since He revealed my gift, and called me to this ministry, I have been trying to beat the system, jump into the big league without paying my dues. That is a huge leap for a girl who coasted through school on her personality and neglected some pretty rudimentary education as a result of serious, undiagnosed ADD. However, the Lord’s message was sharp for me, it was time for a change, personality alone was not what He what He had in mind, He called me out of my comfort zone. I was to go back to the basics wit h my writing and start from square one, with the promise that
December 7, 2011
Something has changed! My chemotherapy is technically in place as a preventative measure, in case the cancer unknowingly spread yet I am beginning to feel so different that I am beginning to think perhaps the preventative measure was necessary; perhaps the cancer had spread and is doing its job. Since the chemo began I have wanted nothing more than to quit; I have been certain I don’t have cancer in my lymphatic system. However, I can tell after 3 of the 12 rounds that something has changed! Although it wipes me out beyond words, I am experiencing a feeling of health that I can’t explain. This is leading me to believe that just as I was wrong when I insisted my former bowel issues could not possibly be cancer (yet actually were a bit greater than stage three rectal cancer) I now believe that I was possibly wrong about the cancer being isolated to my former rectum. I am beginning to think I might need the chemotherapy. I am grateful for the medical research and protocol that I